Hang the project manager

During another slow dragging lecture I started to daydream but an example given by the lecturer got my attention back on track immediately.

What is the connection between the length of rope used to hang people and project management? Well, the lecturer explained the use of regression in estimation of a project management process, but I am not going to dwell on the management side of the topic.

Interesting is the fact that in past there was Mr Berry whose job was to calculate the length of the rope used to hang people. Before, I thought one would simply make a knot, put it round poor criminal’s neck and a freefall will result in an instant kill. If you did this without the knowledge of Mr Berry’s First and Second Hypothesis, there could only be two outcomes.

One, if the length of the rope was too short, the poor criminal will be hanging there for a disturbingly long time wiggling and hopelessly struggling until death. A terrible sight to behold. Second outcome is even worse. If the rope is too long the criminal’s head would just pop out. A bloody messy end.

So, perfect way of hanging someone would be to follow Mr Berry’s formulae:

D=576/W^2

Where D is drop in feet (controlled by the rope length), W is weight of a person in stones. (1 stone = 6.35029318 kilograms)

Good luck

Relational algebra and SQL

When I first came across with SQL it seemed as though going back in time, black screen with blinking cursor waiting for a command to be typed. Although, after some hours spent staring at black screen with continuous beeping noises it started to make some sense. Request for some data and SQL gets it for you provided you get the syntax right, no need to explain how.

If you start wondering about “how” part of SQL, relational algebra is the door to open. It is purely theoretical high level procedural language, based on mathematical logic and set theory. Relational algebra is used as a basis for database query languages. Simply put, relational algebra uses five basic operations: selection, projection, Cartesian product, union and set difference which are enough to perform most of the data queries. For example, it starts with finding common columns in tables to join them to create another table in which the rows should be cleared off from unnecessary data by using simple logical connectives. Or it would make more sense to get rid of rows that are not needed first, as the database tables tend to have more rows than columns, which would improve the speed of query… etc.

Knowing how to use the relational algebra operations effectively is helpful when working with SQL hardcore. It will be obvious how the query is carried out, what steps are being taken. It helps to estimate the data retrieval time.

It just makes you much better data “queryer”.

How much do I waste if the lecturer is late?

Mustafa Kemal Atatürk was a Turkish army officer, revolutionary statesman, and founder of the Republic of Turkey as well as its first President. I first heard about him at Turkish Computer High School when the teacher told a brief story.

I cannot recall details of the story but it is about when Ataturk arranges a meeting somewhere outside in the field with someone (let’s say Bob). On that day the weather starts to change from worse to worst and Bob decides to wait for it to get better presuming Ataturk would do the same. After many hours Bob meets him in the field and asks whether Ataturk was here at agreed time. Ataturk answers, “If I am ever late for an arranged meeting consider me dead!”

I respect punctuality.

Recently due to “adverse weather conditions” in London lecturer was late, and students had to sit and wait. We were informed he would be late for 20 minutes and one of the students jokingly said “I want a refund for those 20 minutes!” This made me wonder how much would that be.

As an international student I paid full fee of whopping £11200 for MSc Business Systems Analysis and Design course, City University London.

£11200/52 weeks =£215 per week
£215/4 lectures a week =£53 per lecture
£53/3 lecture hours = £18 per lecture hour

20 minutes is £6. It is not much but this calculation includes all the holidays, “reading weeks” and time allowed to write thesis when the University doesn’t spend a penny.

Yes, I want a refund, too!

SAP way of doing things

08 Feb 2009 00:48

From the University as an extra I was offered a unique opportunity to study SAP software for heavily discounted price. It works out as almost five times cheaper. This course package includes three doorstopper thick photocopied books, online access to pre-recorded lectures (sounds like a speech synthesizer was used) and slides, a notepad and a company pen! The price also includes the final exam and if successful I will be awarded SAP TERP10 mySAP ERP Integration of Business Processes Certificate. It is an introductory level certificate which gives full introduction/overview to the software capabilities. An offer I could not resist.

Simply put, SAP is a software that helps businesses do their businesses better. For more information click here. The University also provided additional lectures on SAP. I attended the first lecture and I got more confused about SAP instead of gathering information which would clarify the subject. Obviously the lecturer didn't quite appreciate some of the ideas about SAP. Followings are some of his words that made me laugh:

"...it is just a software, a product...I did the same course and passed the exam, my tip for exam: try to answer some question from marketing point of view!"

"...this slide shows exactly the same diagram that we just saw on previous slide but with a bit different colours and shapes..."

"When implementing the software (SAP) do not try to change and modify it to match the way how you do your business, but change how you do your business and match the SAP way of doing things."

"...and here they are just trying to sound complicated by using fancy words to explain same ideas we have just seen on previous slides."

"...it almost feels like the books were written in German then translated into French then to Indian then to Chinese and finally translated to English by some poor Chinese in the field."

SQL is a headache...

03 Feb 2009 21:47

Today is the day I reminisced the days when Windows 3.1 was a dream and Norton Commander was an almighty king to which one would access through DOS command line. Black and white screen with lots of punishing "Beep" noises which was like a slap on the back of a head that failed to spot a typo.

All day was staring at boring screen and learning basics of SQL syntax until my eyes popped out. SQL is a simple easy to learn language for accessing and manipulating databases. That is true provided you have a lot of patience and logical approach to solving problems.

This is NOT a language where the first screen output of your program will be "Hello world!” This is NOT a language to draw lines and make some circles jump around. SQL is Structured Query Language, it does what is says on the tin. No fun unless you have the brain that tickles you a little bit when you find a solution to one of the tests on this website - http://sqlzoo.net/

Finally proper snow in London

02 Feb 2009 18:00

White London. Is it not great? This is the first time I saw proper (as I know it from my life in Uzbekistan for 22 years) winter in the UK. This is the first entry to my blog.